Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
