Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You are a genius and a whore.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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