Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize