Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
