I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
