tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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