Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize
