3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
