I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i wish my penis had a tongue
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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