My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
you never un-have a 4some
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
