Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize