I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The Olympian is in my bed
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
