hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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