All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
