i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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