I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
