I am in a vortex of obligation.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize