i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
