I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
did i just pee glitter
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
