Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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