Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
