school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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