if you like me you must not know who I am
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
