I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
