I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
