Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
