porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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