dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
