Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
