i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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