I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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