Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
