So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
