so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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