your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
