Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
