Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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