I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
