i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
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just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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