remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
