who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
