my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
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He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize