Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
