What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize