Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
