You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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