Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
