I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
