And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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