Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
