I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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