i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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