Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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