i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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