Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
