Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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