Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
