I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
