I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
